Millionaire Rejects

Well now, what a great store name, and why haven’t I been here? Furthermore, why i am not working for them, and why didn’t i think of that cool name! gotta stop by this place sometimes soon. Here are some yelp reviews.  By chance has anybody been to this place?

 

Live From the Trenches with Julie

by Laura Barron 

On a bitter cold night in February I’m with Julie walking her spirited Patterdale Terrier pup, Macie. We trip through the snowy alleys looking for discarded furniture and clothes with resell potential while Macie jerks to the right and left to check out interesting smells. Julie pauses by a dumpster and bends over what looks to me like a heap of drab, bulky fabric.

She immediately recognizes a rolled-up 5′ x 7′ rug and springs into action, giving me Macie’s leash. After a moment of struggle she’s lifted the damp, unwieldy mass. She treks home along the icy sidewalks with the rug sagging from her arms. To a passerby it might look like she’s disposing of a body. I don’t know why she’s bothering with this crappy length of carpeting but she moves with purpose and I decide not to question.

Once inside Julie unfolds the rug full-length. I have a hard time believing this is the 30 lb. bundle we just lugged up a flight of stairs. It’s patterned in coral and green, colorful and fun but classy enough to add interest to a room and pull it together without overwhelming it. The rug was in like, perfect condition too.

I’m totally impressed at Julie’s ability to spot the potential in what others would pass by. I know now not to question her instincts as when it comes to alley finds Julie’s a pro. This rug easily and quickly commanded a keen fifty dollars on Craigslist.

Turns out, that this rug is made by the high end, Nuloom, named the Barcelona Faded Medallions Spa Blue Area Rug. This “junk” julie eybealled out retails for $249 at places like Rug Studio

JULIE’S FIND

Nuloom Barcelona Faded Medallions Spa Blue Area Rug

pastel rug1

JULIE’S ALLEY COHORT
macie 1.15.14

\

Rattan V. Wicker

Do you often find yourself writing the description of a chair for a Craigslist posting at 4:13 a.m., daring to dream of selling it over the weekend for $15, and not sure whether it is in fact wicker or rattan – or what the differences between those two even are? If so, read this. Then, let me know what you think this is! I’m going with “wicker.” Rattan has a nice upscale ring to it that this chair does not live up to.

NON-UPSCALE WICKER CHAIR

gray wicker chair 2

Craigslist Lunatics

This lady wanted to buy my markedly underpriced vintage rusted orange La-Z-Boy Rocka Recliner. I have researched La-Z-Boy vintage chairs and the authentic handle/reclining lever piece with the brand logo on it is being sold on eBay and other sites for more money than I’m asking for the entire chair!

I was going to sell this chair to her for $35. The part that kills me the most is not the precise combination of psychotic rudeness she projected while fastidiously examining the chair until she found something slightly wrong with it, but how much of my time I spent  talking to her about church and smart phones and service providers, for free! She did tell me some advice that was once told to her, about not looking a gift horse in the mouth, that one person might pay a far higher price for the value they find in the piece.

Damn right. 🙂

Here is the unsold wonder, looking for a home near you!

orangechair2

Be Careful Who You Let Into Your Home

from Craigslist.

I was open and friendly to a female customer last week who had sold things in the past on Craigslist. Albeit unsolicited, she gave me some advice about how to handle things to procure my safety. She suggested using a man’s name, making comments about my boyfriend being home, etc.

And I did only one thing. By happenstance I actually had my boyfriend and his male friend in the apartment when The Craiglist Killer II – The Serial Space Heater Buyer, came over. Luckily, they just happened to come back from Cleo’s down the street. They talked about going to another bar, but I sort of manipulated the situation so that they would chill at the apartment until my buyer came. I felt a little nervous.

and rightly so.

The item he alleged to want to purchase was a Holmes Space Heater. A perfect one at that – in great cosmetic and working condition, a 1-touch digital quiet and heat-generating slick piece of machinery. In fact:

holmes space heater

The Space Heater Serial Killer and I talked on the phone for about a half hour, during which some of the following rules of Craigslist Safety were disobeyed by me:

  • I talked on the phone for a half hour with a craigslist buyer – way too long
  • I revealed personal information about my physical appearance to a man, for example i talked about my hair color
  • I gave a gender and age
  • I’m not certain i said “boyfriend” or “husband” at any point
  • I was female
  • I discussed a current foot injury that imposed a physical limitation to my ability to run, should I need to

He talked to me to an annoying extent over my price. Perhaps not only is it important for me to stand up for myself and my pricing on principle, but also it is important for them – and they believe in what they are arguing. But more often than not, I feel like it’s an insult to the value of my product and service – and that they are arguing over a petty amount of dollars.

I usually veer towards what they are offering, although I have my limits. I know that a Holmes Space Heater is going to get at least $20. And I still ultimately agreed to $18. I do research on the market value of the product. Incidentally, he had offered me $17.50, but having done my laundry earlier that day, I was more than saturated in quarters.

I gave him my address and he said he’d be over for the heater in half an hour. During that time, my boyfriend and another male friend he had been out with came home. I didn’t plan that – although, I did ask them to stay, like I said. And it’s a good thing I did.

The guy – a personal trainer/bodybuilder – came to the door and said he had a present for me. He had JUST STOPPED at Walgreens (I looked at the time, the receipt was in the bag) to spend almost $25 on an ankle rap for me, as I told him I had an injury. That seemed so nice. I gave him the heater and chatted about about it (how hard is he gonna make me work to sell this to him, this is ridiculous, i thought, smiling my way through it).

I was very confident that the thing worked, and my place had guests, a hyper dog, and clutter – but i let him come in and test it. If I did not have people over, I’m not sure what would have happened. He immediately had weird and illogical reactions to the space heater. It’s clearly Grade-A (as verified by my bf and his friend afterwards), and there’s not much to really decide when it comes to an $18 space heater. I even brought a second one that was dirty from my back porch/laboratory that I used, in case he preferred that one. He just seemed like he wasn’t going to buy it, and possibly like he had no intention of buying it in the first place, or else he wanted something that didn’t exist – some huge heater to immediately shoot 90 degree air in your face or something. Like getting in your car, shit takes a minute to warm up. Because for example, he wanted something quiet but seemed to like the revving sound the non-quiet one made. Anyway, I quickly said “you can think about it” and that he could call me back, and he left, skittishly.

What do we think might have happened had i been home alone?

Rug Revival: How To Remove Furniture Indents

Well I happened upon a gosh darned so-so rug. But it was going to sell, being soft and neutral brown, and without piss stains or cigarette burns. It was an Ikea rug, and I’d had one in blue before, so the Craigslist copy was already written, sans a little smithing of the words to account for the difference in color.

But one thing was going to hold me back from closing this sale – the wretched indentations on the rug where a coffee table had once dared to stand. I thought to myself, there’s only one thing to do at a time like this: google.

Google presented two alternatives to me: hot or cold. In other words, I could use the ice method, or the steam method. The ice method didn’t sound right to me, as it entailed ice cubes and paper towels and overnight work that sounded like it could potentially damage the rug and leave weird fuzzy paper towel and/or water stains. But the steam method, that sounded like it just might work (and it did!).

So if you ever find yourself with a rug with undesirable furniture marks in it, here is what you must do.
1. Get your iron out and heated up
3. Once iron is hot, hold it down on the rug and steam baby steam – but not for too long. Chances are, you can apply the iron directly to the surface of the rug (there were some suggestions that you put a cloth or tee shirt in between the rug and the iron to prevent burning, but I did just fine without that stupid step)
4. While rug is still hot, use your fingers to pull the rug fibers back out and comb it back and forth so the rug returns to its original state
5. Repeat steps 3-4 a couple times if you need to
6. Vacuum it, for a nice and uniform look

It really works! Try it today!